Oops, I'm Pregnant Again!

A SAHM's take on pregnancy, babies, beauty,and life as a baby making machine.

Early Labor Confirmed. Now We Play The Waiting Game….

I had my doctor’s appointment on Monday, the 27th. My blood pressure was perfect, Xander’s hear rate was perfect. Everything looks good. Well, I also had my first internal pelvic exam to check and see if I have started to dilate or efface. My doctor is a trip. Before doing the pelvic, he said, “So where do you think you’re at right now?” I told him I thought I was closed tight and long….So he checked out the goods, and proceeded to tell me, “Honey, you’re not closed!” I was actually 1.5 almost 2 cm dilated, 95% effaced, and Xander’s head is at a +3 station. (That would definitely explain all the pelvic pressure and feeling like he is going to fall out all the time!) His head is dropped LOW…He could actually feel the head BIG time, and even had to check my cervix twice to get my dilation because his head was right there! I asked if he felt any hair, and he told me that since he was wearing gloves and since the baby is still in the amniotic sac, there was no real way for him to tell all of that. Darn! I hope he gets a full head of hair like his big sister!

He also said that he highly doubts that we will make it to my scheduled c-section date of January 14th. He said there is a very good possibility that I won’t even make it to my next appointment on the 5th. When I got home, I started having more contractions, which have become a daily thing for me, but these ones have been different…They have been much more intense, and have literally been knocking the wind out of me. I cannot even speak through them a lot of the time. When I stand up or walk, it literally feels like I have an anvil, like the ones in the old Warner Bros. cartoons, inside of me trying to push its way out. I feel like I need to walk around with my knees locked to hold the baby in! And my back is killing me, my boobs are hurting, and I am now starting to feel the panic….

It is really beginning to sink in…I am having a baby. Soon. Very, very soon…I mean, of course, I already knew that, but now he is making his presence known in a way I have never experienced. I have had 2 previous c-sections, so my experience with labor pains is very limited. I was in early labor for a while with Sophie, but it was NOTHING in comparison to this…. And I have to admit, I am scared. I am scared of how much worse this pain will get before it’s time to head to the hospital, and I am afraid of getting another surgery, which unfortunately, I have absolutely no say in. I am afraid of trying to take care of a 1 year old and a newborn while trying to heal, and I am afraid of any complications that can occur.

I know I shouldn’t be so scared….But I can’t help it. I have never felt this kind of pain before in my life, other than while in recovery from my c-sections, but that pain, while just as intense, was a completely different kind of pain. I literally feel like my body is being ripped apart. I feel like I have no control….The pain and uncertainty is overwhelming. And I don’t know what’s going to happen next. And I hate it. I am soooo ready to have Xander, but I am also very, very anxious. So all I can do now is sit and wait…Hopefully it will all be over soon!


December 29, 2010 - Posted by | My Story

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