This Is Going To Be A Long And Worrisome Week!
So I am NOT in a good mood….Dan got called to go to a mandatory week long training session in Pennsylvania. He had 2 choices. He had to either go THIS week, or he could go the week of January 9th. My c-section is scheduled for the 14th, so obviously THAT wasn’t going to work. He would be getting home after his son was born if he went that week. So I am sitting here alone. Very, very pregnant, could pop at any time, having contractions off and on and in pain, and ALONE. He was really mad that they were sending him right now. While I am not scheduled to have Xander till the 14th, the fact that I had a c-section and got pregnant again right away puts us at a greater risk of an early delivery. So really, while chances are things will be fine, he could decide to make his entrance at any time, and this is NOT the time for me to be left alone. But Dan has to be employed, so we really had no choice in the matter.
He did help a lot to get things situated for me before he left last night. He helped do some dishes and laundry for me, he loaded the stroller into my trunk, he really did as much as he could to make things as easy as possible for me throughout the week. I mean, I am not supposed to be doing anything even remotely strenuous right now. The doc said I am not even supposed to be carrying Sophie around right now! But that’s unavoidable at the moment…I am just hoping that I don’t over-do it and throw myself into labor. Which probably won’t happen, but is a very real possibility. And if I go into labor, that means emergency C-section, and it means that Dan would not be here. I don’t even know that I would be able to reach him. We don’t have cell phones at the moment, and he didn’t drive himself to PA. He will be stuck in a classroom, and I will have no way to reach him most of the time. So THAT is worrying me, and I am praying hard that nothing happens.
Dan was great and called me last night as soon as he checked into the hotel. They gave him an executive suite, which sounds nice. He said he’d much rather be home, though. He also called this morning to make sure I was up for my doctor’s appointment, and he also called as soon as he got through with class. I didn’t think he would make it a point to call so much, but it’s nice. I am lonely, and it’s good to hear his voice.
Now on to my pissed-off rant….This just boils my blood! I guess the company Dan works for would rather pay for a rental vehicle and have the people car-pool than have to pay everyone individual mileage for the trip. So one guy who lives the furthest south basically got the rental car and picked Dan and one other jackass up on the way to PA. (You’ll see why I say “jackass” momentarily.)Both of these guys seem like complete morons…The driver forgot the address for the hotel in PA and had to call Dan in hopes that HE had it, cause neither one of them did. (Dan had it.) He also said he would be here about 7:00 PM, and then called back to say “Oops. I didn’t adjust my clock on the gps. I’m going to be an hour earlier.” Which totally ruined the nice dinner Dan and I were going to have together before he left. Okay. Fine. Men can be dumb. This is not why I am pissed.
Fast forward to their arrival….Dan has checked into his room and is getting situated. One of the idiots he rode up with, we’ll just call him Tweedle-Dee, is frantically trying to find somewhere to buy beer and liquor to take back to the room. Thankfully, Dan has his own room! This is VERY much against company policy, and all the class participants were warned beforehand that they were to maintain professional conduct for the duration of the week, in AND out of the classroom. It’s a relatively small town, and he works for a very well-known company, and everyone knows everyone…So word travels back to the corporate office like wildfire, and the employees are expected to behave professionally at all times. They are there to learn, not to party.Guys have been fired and sent home for this kind of behavior before. I thought it was hilarious when the guy came back to the hotel after scouring the whole town just to find that it’s a dry county, and you cannot buy alcohol at any retail stores. I didn’t believe that even existed, but a simple Google search confirmed this. Dan didn’t care. He wasn’t going to play into that, cause he values his job. He brought the Wii and the DS and a bunch of games so that he would have something other to do than gallavant around making an ass of himself.
So today, he calls me after class. He says he loves me and misses me, and that he is supposed to meet up with Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum to get a ride to go get dinner. Since they only have the one rental car, that makes sense. He thought they’d just run to McDonald’s or Taco Bell….WRONG! These idiots want to “go see some titties.” Dan told them he wouldn’t be joining them and went back to his room. The thing that gets me is WHY do these men act like this? They are there on business, both with women and children at home, and they are literally behaving like teenage virgins who have never seen breasts before. PLUS, they had already been warned about how they choose to spend their time out of the classroom. And the fact that they were trying to make MY husband go? I am livid. I am sitting here, fat and pregnant and taking care of his baby 2 states away, and these JACKASSES want to go to a strip club and drag my man along for the ride. Yeah. Not happening. If these guys want to cheat on their wives, that’s their call, but I am willing to bet neither of their spouses would appreciate this at all. And I am also willing to bet that these poor women have no idea what their men are doing.
I am so unbelievably grateful that my husband didn’t succumb to the idea of non-preggo, non fat, and more than likely surgically altered female parts grinding on him and the relentless and immature pressure from his “peers”. (I am using the word peers very, very loosely.) Had he gone, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this. I would be packing up my stuff, getting the kids packed, and cutting the crotches out of all of his pants.
I would NOT tolerate this, and in my mind, going to a strip club while you’re very pregnant wife and baby are at home is cheating, plain and simple. I know there are plenty of people who think it’s perfectly okay and that as long as they aren’t sleeping with these women there is no harm done. They are also the ones who really believe that the strippers really ARE nice girls working their way through school and that Bill Clinton never inhaled.
But let’s break this down…What is cheating? (And I am not even going to go into emotional infedility. That’s an entirely different post in itself!) Cheating is getting sexual gratification in places other than with your spouse, without your partner’s knowledge or involvement. Period. Now let me say, I am no prude. I am not little miss innocent. I am not one of these wives that has their husband’s manly pieces in a vice. If Dan wants to go to a strip club, fine. IF he takes me with him. He wants to look at porn? FINE. Do it WITH me. He could actually get away with a lot more than most husbands could WITH the stipulation that I be involved and there is nothing done behind my back or without me. Luckily, he seems to have no interest in going to a strip club, and oddly enough, he doesn’t like porn. (Not that I am complaining!)
It just irks me that these “men” (again, using the word loosely) have absolutely no problem leaving their poor wives and kids at home while they are out of town on business, and that they would betray their marriage vows by using the distance as an opportunity to be unfaithful. These are not good husbands, which in turn, means they are not good fathers. The best thing a REAL man can do for his children is to be good to their mother. I distinctly remember watching my mom cry herself to sleep and wonder why she wasn’t good enough when 2:00 AM rolled around and a basketball game that WASN’T a basketball game kept her husband away….I remember finding business cards from strip clubs and my mom finding swingers ads with people circled in cities where her husband was scheduled to be on business. I was a CHILD and I remember this….I have no real ill will towards my parents over this, and they probably had no business being married to eachother, as I do not remember it ever being overly happy, but it was more than I needed to see as a child. Infidelity was all around me growing up, and this isn’t something a child should have to see. It hurts the child’s self-esteem and does not teach good values. Especially to those who have daughters….A girl shouldn’t grow up feeling like an object. And boys shouldn’t be raised to think it’s okay to be so sexually driven that he hurts those he loves.
Cheating destroys marriages. It destroys families. And Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum are a couple of unfaithful @ssholes, and they had no business trying to drag my husband down with them. So now I am going to sit here for the rest of the week worrying… Temptation can be hard to resist. I already feel unattractive enough, having been basically pregnant for the better part of 2 years. And my husband is in another state, in a lonely hotel room, surrounded by guys who think nothing of cheating on their wives on company time. Dan made the right choice today….But what if he gets lonely? What if they do nothing but tease him for saying no? What choice will he make tomorrow? I literally feel like I need to throw up. I’m scared. I’m fat and ugly and about to pop, and I am very hormonal. And I am wondering if this trip is going to change our lives in ways that cannot be forgiven or taken back….
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