Oops, I'm Pregnant Again!

A SAHM's take on pregnancy, babies, beauty,and life as a baby making machine.

Apparently, I have reached MILF Status…Does That Mean I Am Officially OLD?


Wow…It seems only yesterday I was breaking curfew and running around with the “bad boys” till all hours of the night. (Girls, too, but I was always considered more one of the guys for some reason.) Life was simpler. No bills, no children to care for, no house to clean, no dinners that had to be made. I was young, and I could live for the moment without really thinking about consequences or repercussions to my actions. If I wanted to stay out all night, I did. If I wanted to buy that outfit that cost more than a week’s worth of groceries, I did. I had no cares in the world…

Fast forward a few years…Okay, maybe more than a few…More like 10 years. Here I am, happily married, with 2 great kids and another on the way. There are diapers to be changed, homework to be checked, dinners to cook, a home to maintain, bills to pay, and I now have to think about whether or not I can afford a new shirt or pair of shoes. My life is no longer my own, and somehow I have gone from the crazy kid out partying all night, riding around with friends to the irritated adult that refers to them now as “those damn kids” and gets annoyed when I see them out causing a scene….where has the time gone, and how did this HAPPEN?

Earlier, I was taking advantage of the finally nicer weather, and I took my Sophie out for a walk. As I was pushing her stroller, I passed a group of guys that were doing landscaping on a neighbor’s yard. There were 4 or 5 of them, and they looked to be about 18-25-ish. As I walked by, I overheard them call me a MILF. At first, I was confused…I looked around, trying to see who this hot chick they were talking about was. Of course, there were no other women out and about. I guess I was the MILF!

First of all, I have very low self-esteem. I don’t think I am even remotely attractive, and I prefer to be invisible at all times. I don’t get called “hot” or “sexy”, let alone get referred to as a MILF. So that shocked me. But then, as I continued on my walk, I started thinking about it…MILF, for those of you who live in a box somewhere, means Mom I’d Like To F**k. To me, a MILF has always been an OLDER woman…Think Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne. Or some late 30’s-early 40’s lonely housewife who gets a pool boy and flirts by bringing him lemonade while scantily clad. Someone whose husband doesn’t take care of them. A PTA mom who has tea with her girlfriends and spends a lot on salon visits and Botox. 

Is that really what I have become? I am only 29…And have been told I do not look my age. I get carded frequently. I am not a member of the PTA, I do not have tea and gossip, and I don’t need Botox or a Pool Boy. I listen to current music, I like trendy styles of clothing. I thought that I still maintained enough of my youth to remain “cool”.  But apparently, I am old enough to be classified as a MILF. I don’t know whether to be flattered or cry!

In a way, I guess I should be flattered. I don’t get many compliments. Not even from Dan. (He isn’t the expressive type.) I don’t get called hot or pretty or beautiful. Never! So the fact that a group of young men could say that about me, especially when I am preggo and bloated, should make me feel good. On the other hand, I feel old. I mean, it may be MILF NOW, but there is a fine line between MILF and Cougar…and then Spinster or Hag! Where has the time gone? Am I really that old? Do I need to start thinking of Botox or control top panties? Should I start vigilantly watching for grays? Do I need to break out the wrinkle cream?

Maybe it’s just the hormones talking…Maybe I should just be flattered and leave it at that. But I guess maybe it is time I accept that my youth is over. I am not usually viewed as a desirable woman, I am just a MOM. But you know what? That is something I wouldn’t trade for the world!

August 27, 2010 Posted by | For Adults Only...More Mature Posts regarding Marriage, Sex, and Other Blunders And Reviews | Leave a comment

By Jove, I Think She’s Got It!


So I have actually been sitting here pretty bummed-out all day. The idea of my husband not being able to be present for the gender scan really makes me sad. I know he would love to be there, as he came to every single prenatal appointment when I was pregnant with Sophie. And I mean he came into the office with me every time. No bored guy in the waiting room,lol. I can’t get upset with him, because his new job as shop manager demands a great deal of his time and almost no flexibility. If he’s not there to run the shop, who’s going to do it?

I have been trying to find some way to still make finding out the baby’s sex something special for us to do together… Plus, we have a bet, and I want to see his face when he loses! Dan has been 100% convinced that Oops is another girl. Has been since the second the pregnancy test came back positive. I think it will be a boy, just because that would be my luck. I have TONS of baby girl stuff. And I mean truck-loads. And nothing for a boy! And of course, we can’t afford to buy all new baby stuff right now. So while I will be happy no matter what we get, I reeeeeaaaaallllly want another girl. But I tend to suspect Oops is all boy! If Dan is right, I have to “snuggle in bed watching TV all weekend long.” Oh no! Kill me now! lol…If I am right, then Dan has to take me out on a REAL date. And he has to ACT like we’re on a date. So really, either way, I win! Snuggles or a night out both sound good to me!

So I have an idea. If I DO get stuck getting my ultrasound alone, I came up with a plan so that Dan is still involved in the reveal. I am going to show up with an envelope and an index card. I am going to make myself look insane, and ask the sonographer to NOT tell me the sex….Instead, I am going to ask her to write it down on the index card, put it into the envelope, seal it, and give it back to me. Then I will wait till he gets home, have a nice celebratory dinner, and then we can open it and find out the news together! Heck, maybe I will even have Kyle take video so I can share the reveal on my Facebook or on here!

Anyone think this is a good idea? Any other ideas on how to reveal the gender, and still include Daddy?

August 25, 2010 Posted by | What They DON'T Tell You About Pregnancy-The Nitty Gritty | Leave a comment

Wordless Wednesday


August 25, 2010 Posted by | For The Munchkins-All About The Kids Reviews and Rants | Leave a comment

What’s Up, Doc?


So I went to my doctor today. I have to say, I LOVE my doctor. He has a great sense of humor, and is always laughing. Anyway, he came in and the first thing he noticed was that I was alone. (Insert sad face here.) Then he yelled at me for losing weight. I guess due to bad morning sickness, I have lost 4 more lbs since my last appointment. He also said my blood pressure was low. (I don’t know how that works, but mine was 104/60.) So bedrest is extended, at least for the next few weeks. Grrrr…But I guess with the dizziness and all, that makes sense. Better safe than sorry!

He also said I look great, and asked why I was all sexy looking today,lol…No, my doctor was NOT hitting on me. But it was nice to be paid a compliment! I mean, my own husband has NEVER called me sexy! The funny thing is, I wasn’t even dressed up or anything. I had on a tank, a cardigan, and my Pajama Jeans. I then told my doc all about my PJ jeans, and he thought that was awesome and had a good laugh about it. (You really wouldn’t know they aren’t actually nice jeans.)

He also told me that judging my my symptoms and all, coupled with the fact that Oops’s heart rate was 153, he has a strong feeling we are having another GIRL!  Of course, we won’t know that for sure till my ultrasound, but he has been doing this for awhile, so for him to even give an opinion means he has ample reason to suspect. He never guessed with Sophie, though.  So it makes me hopeful that I will have another princess on my hands! I still have a feeling it will be a boy, though, just because another girl would be more convenient and cost us a lot less!

We will know for sure on September 10th at 10:45. I think I may have to go to my gender scan alone, though, and I am really bummed out about that. Dan probably won’t be able to get out of work. It makes me sad, because when I was pregnant with Sophie, he had some flexibility in his schedule, and was able to make it to ALL my appointments. Every last one. And now he will probably miss the most important visit of this pregnancy, and I probably won’t have anyone to share that moment with. Getting to actually see my baby and find out the gender is a big deal to me, and I will cry if he isn’t there with me.

So anyway…Here is a challenge. I wanna have some fun with this for the next 2 weeks so I don’t lose my mind! Leave me a comment and let me know two things:

1. What do you think we’re having? A boy? A girl? A hermaphrodite?

2. PLEASE, I need baby names! For both sexes. We cannot seem to think of ANYTHING!

Any suggestions would be appreciated, since we’re getting close to the time that we really need to figure out who our baby will be. I don’t think we can actually get away with naming it Oops!

August 25, 2010 Posted by | What They DON'T Tell You About Pregnancy-The Nitty Gritty | 2 Comments

In The Spirit Of Bacony Goodness, My Baked Potato Soup Recipe


I just won a week’s worth of bacon via Facebook from the nice folks at the Bar-S company! I am SO excited about my prize, because for one, come on…Who doesn’t LOVE bacon?! Bacon just makes everything better! I have been sitting here pondering how I would use my prize once it arrives! On the absolute tippy-top of my list is my baked potato soup. I am not usually much of a soup person. I much prefer stews and goulashes, and things with more substance that give you that “sticks to your ribs” feeling. (Although, I do have to admit, I am a sucker for the baked potato soup served at O’Charley’s!)

I have spent time perfecting what I believe to be one of the yummiest, most sinful comfort foods, in my humble opionion. Baked potato soup just has all of the elements I look for when I am craving something rich and savory. And not to hoot my own horn, but mine is damn good! Probably the best I have had anywhere!

Here is my recipe. As always, tweak to suit your personal tastes. This version is a heart attack in a pot. I am not going to lie. It is NOT for the health-conscious! But it is sooooooo good. I only make it a few times a year, but it is a dish I always look forward to.

Brandy’s Baked Potato Soup

Ingredients

  • 2 potatoes (or more, depending on desired texture)
  • 1 stick butter. Yes, I said a whole stick, and yes, I said real butter. It makes a difference!
  • 2 cups chopped white onion( I use onion powder)
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 4 cups chicken stock (I use Swanson’s for best flavor.)
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1 1/2 cups instant mashed potato flakes…or more
  • 1 tablespoon  salt (Sea salt is best!)
  • 3/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1  teaspoon dried basil
  • 1/2 teaspoon white pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
  • 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
  • 8 ounces bacon – cooked and crumbled. Or more!
  • 2 green onions, chopped (totally optional.)
  • dash of hot sauce, if desired. I like Louisiana Crystal Sauce!
  • And I always use 1 teaspoon Emeril’s Original Essence!

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Bake potatoes for 1 hour, or until done. Set aside to cool.
  2. Melt 1/3 of the butter in a 3 quart saucepan over medium heat. Saute onions until tender and golden brown. Stir in flour, and cook 5 minutes to make a roux. Pour in chicken stock and water. Add cornstarch and mashed potato flakes. Season with salt, pepper, white pepper,basil and thyme. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 5 minutes.
  3.  Dice the potatoes into 1/2 inch cubes, and stir into soup, along with the heavy cream. Add your cheeses, reserving a small amount of cheddar for garnishing.Add remaining butter.Simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, or until thick.(I usually let it simmer for an hour, and I tweak the seasonings to taste during this time.) Add most of the crumbled bacon into the soup and mix well. Spoon into bowls, and garnish with shredded cheese, bacon and chopped green onion, if desired.

August 24, 2010 Posted by | Food, Glorious Food! My recipes and reviews | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Don’t Drink The Castor Oil! A Graphic Account Of My Stupidity And Desperation


When I was pregnant with Sophie, I had the pregnancy from hell. Literally. I was sick the entire 9 months, and I don’t mean a little queasy…I mean projectile vomit all over the place, usually a couple times per day. I was always in pain, and I was stuck in the early stages of labor for over a month and a half. The contractions would come in all their fury, and would be horrible for an hour or so, and then they would just STOP. I was stuck at 2cm for almost a month.

Needless to say, by the 9th month, I was ready to be done. I wanted the baby to be born so I could finally put an end to the pain and discomfort of pregnancy. I had researched online ways to jump-start labor.

 We tried everything! I tried going on bumpy car rides, which with the winter we had meant hopping in Dan’s Suburban and putting it into 4WD and braving the snow covered roads in my neighborhood. It was massively uncomfortable, but did not bring a baby!

I tried running up and down the stairs. All that did was wear me out, and while it DID bring on contractions, they weren’t enough to send me to Labor and Delivery.

I tried cumin tea. Just don’t. Period. All it did was give me the worst reflux ever, and made me vomit. But no baby!

I tried raspberry leaf tea my friend, Corinne, gave me. While it tasted pretty good, it definitely didn’t bring on a baby!

We tried having lots of sex. Which for anyone who knows us, knows this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. But even that didn’t help!

So after all of these relatively painless methods of jump-starting labor, I resorted to Castor Oil. Apparently, if you want to jump-start labor, drinking a good amount of castor oil can cause such intense intestinal cramps that it causes the uterus to contract, as well. I had seen videos of women doing this on YouTube, which should have scared me enough to NOT do it, but I was determined to have my daughter. So I dragged Dan to the 24 hour CVS in the middle of the winter,after not being able to sleep for about a week, and I bought a bottle of castor oil.

My bright (or not so bright) idea was to mix 4 oz of castor oil into some ice cream. It DID help the taste, but the consistency was terrible! Like eating an oil slick! Dan actually got the eating of the castor oil on video. Mind you, I am fat, 9 months preggo, hadn’t slept in a week, and looked like a train hit me!

So the first hour after my foolish and desperate attempt to jump-start labor was pretty uneventful. I was actually thinking I hadn’t ingested enough, because nothing was happening! I waited and waited and waited….And then WWIII began in my intestinal tract. I had never felt so sick, or so much like a retard, in my life! I ran to the bathroom promptly threw up. As I was vomiting, the diarrhea began….All over the floor while I was hugging the toilet. I thought, Okay, maybe this is the worst of it…Yeah, and pigs fly. Let me just say the next 4 or 5 hours was torture. My butt literally was behaving like a fire hydrant, and spraying poo faster than Dan could clean it up, and when all was said and done, the ENTIRE bathroom was covered, walls and all…Even in the shower!

(This was ONLY the first wave….It got MUCH, MUCH worse!)

Did it start labor? Sadly, no. But it DID cause me to get a HUGE thrombosed hemmerhoid that was so incredibly painful that I was at the doctor’s the next day, being examined my a doctor I despised, since my normal doctor was out of the office that day. I was given a cream, which did not help much, pain meds that were a joke, and a prescription for Ambien so I could finally sleep. (That’s a whole other story entirely,lol)

AND my baby made it to my scheduled C-section date of New Years Eve. So please, ladies. If you are ever pregnant and desperate to kick-start labor, DON’T DRINK THE CASTOR OIL. Just trust me on this one. It probably won’t work, and if it does, you’ll probably be spraying poo at your OB in labor and delivery! Let nature take its course, no matter how miserable and temporarily psychotic you might be. You won’t be pregnant FOREVER, I promise you. Unless you’re me…I seem to be perpetually knocked-up!

August 24, 2010 Posted by | What They DON'T Tell You About Pregnancy-The Nitty Gritty | Leave a comment

Putting All The Old Wive’s Tales To The Test…Plus Intelligender


Okay, so if you didn’t already know this about me, I HATE surprises…Hate as in obsess over and torment myself mercilessly in hopes of trying to uncover whatever the surprise may be. So of course, being pregnant again is a HUGE surprise, and I have been going nuts over what Oops’s gender might be. (Yes, we are really calling the baby Oops for now!)  I am currently between 18-19 weeks pregnant, and my doctor has not yet scheduled my 20 week ultrasound. Needless to say, the suspense is killing me!

Over the past few weeks, I have been reading up on old wives tales to determine gender. Here are some of the more common myths, and how they apply (or don’t apply) to me:

1. Carrying a baby high is a girl, low is a boy

Okay, honestly, I am JUST starting to show a baby bump…It isn’t apparent enough yet to determine this.
2. A boy’s heart rate will be under 140, a girl’s is over.

First ultrasound was in the 160’s, first doppler in the 160’s, 160’s again, and then 143. Hmmm….Maybe a girl?
3. Take a necklace with a pendant and hold it over your hand, a circle is a girl and back and forth is a boy.

I used my wedding rings, and the moved in a circular motion over my belly. It did the same over my hand.
4. Craving something sweet is a girl, sour is a boy.

Okay, I HAVE been craving more sweets than normal, but mostly I have been craving meat. LOTS of meat. I am a carnivore!
5. Early morning sickness means it’ll be a girl.

JUST early morning?! How about morning, noon, and night?
6. You sleep with the pillow to the north it’ll be a boy, to the south will be a girl.

I am not even sure what this means….
7. If your husband/significant other puts on weight it will be a girl.

Anyone who knows Dan is probably laughing here…Dan doesn’t gain weight. With the amount of junk he eats, he should be 400 lbs. But he is a steady 165-170. Lucky bastard!
8. If your feet are colder now you’ll be having a boy.

Ummm….I don’t have this problem unless I am in the kitchen. We have A/C vents in there that blow frigid air at foot/calf level. That is the only time my tootsies are frozen!
9. Your urine is bright yellow means you’ll have a boy.

Okay…My pee is very odd colors with this pregnancy…I wouldn’t say bright yellow, though. I would say more of an orangey, darkish color. Don’t know what that is supposed to mean, other than possible dehydration!
10. If your nose is spreading during the pregnancy it’ll be a boy, stays the same it’s a girl.

My nose? I think it’s the same…
11. If you look like a basketball it will be a boy, if you look like a watermellon you are having a girl.

Again, not enough of a bump to really tell.
12. craving fruit is a girl, craving meat is a good sign to having a boy.

What if you’re craving both? Does that mean a hermaphrodite is in our future?
13. If you have scrawny looking hair, it’ll be a girl. Luscious hair is a boy.

My hair…My poor, poor hair! Thank God I have a TON of very thick, full hair! It is shedding like mad. In my fingers, in the brush, in the shower…It’s a wonder I’m not bald!

Chinese Gender Prediction Chart:

I have also done what is known as the Chinese Gender Chart. I am not 100% sure how it works, but I think it takes the mother’s age at the time of conception, as well as the month of conception. If both numbers are even, it’s a girl. If they are odd or mixed, it’s a boy.

So according to their system, if I conceived at age 28 in the 4th month of the year, we should be expecting a GIRL.

Ph Test Method of Gender Prediction:

Okay…I have done this one a few times, and all with the same result. You can supposedly determine your baby’s gender by doing a simple Ph test on your urine.  To do this, I dragged the hubby out to WalMart and bought a Ph testing kit, similar to those used to test the levels in a swimming pool.

You have to measure the proper amount of urine, and add 5 drops of the Ph testing solution. If the Ph is HIGH, it means boy. If it is low, it means GIRL. Here are my results, as well as a test done on tap water as a control, just so I knew the stuff was working!

No real change in color, indicating a LOW Ph. (GIRL!)

Ph test done on ordinary tap water.

So according to this method, we should be thinking PINK!

Now here’s where things get a little kooky…The Cabbage Method!

Red Cabbage Gender Prediction Method:

Okay, so this method is a little odd. I felt strange going into WalMart and buying a red cabbage, Ph tests, and an Intelligender kit. I’m sure the cashier was a bit confused!

I read about this method on a pregnancy message board. Here is how it works. You will need 1 red cabbage, which can be bought for a mere 88 cents! It HAS to be a RED cabbage, though.

Then I had my lovely assistant chop the cabbage into several chunks, like so:

Here is Kyle, my 10 year old’s reaction to the fact that Mommy had to “pee on cabbage”,lol

(No, you don’t really pee ON the cabbage,lol)

Once you have the cabbage cut into smallish chunks, you put it into a stock pot full of water, and you let it boil…Mine boiled for probably 20 minutes or so, and I had to puke twice in the process, as I despise the smell of cabbage. It smells like farts and dirty socks to me!

Once it has boiled, remove the whole pot from the heat and let sit for 10 minutes or so.

Take equal parts cabbage water and urine. The cabbage water will be a purple color, almost like a concord grape juice. You then mix the pee and cabbage water together. If it turns a deeper purple, it means GIRL. If it turns reddish or pinkish, it means BOY. Here are my results:

The one on the left is straight cabbage water. On the right, it’s mixed with my pee.

So according to this myth, we may be having a BOY. Notice the peed in cabbage water is kind of a magenta color, as opposed to the purple of just the cabbage water alone.

And Finally, Intelligender:

I actually used Intelligender while pregnant with Sophie. It was dead on accurate. I do not have a photo handy, but the test turned a bright orange, which indicates GIRL. If it is a greenish, it means BOY.These kits are pretty neat, and cost around 30.00 each. They can be found at several retailers, like Rite Aid, Walgreen’s, Target, etc… I am not 100% sure HOW they work. Apparently, they are patent pending, so the Intelligender company isn’t revealing their secrets just yet! Here is what the kit looks like:

It comes with instructions,( which you need to follow CAREFULLY!) a dropper to measure your urine, a test kit with their “secret ingredient” inside, and a nice, plastic dixie type cup to pee in.

I took one Intelligender test the same day I did the cabbage. Turns out, I MAY have thrown off the results, because unbeknownst to me, I had a bacterial infection down there at the time. I am including the results here, though, as when I tested again this morning after being free of infection and antibiotics, the results were the same.

Taken July 30, 2010

Taken August 20, 2010

I am assuming this is a boy result as well, although it does have an orangey tint to it as well…So I really am not positive, but it looks like BOY to me.

So who knows? Maybe Oops IS a hermaphrodite!!!

My Conclusion:

So as you can see, there are a myriad of interesting ways to try and predict the gender of your baby. For me, the results are VERY mixed.Most, if not all, of the wive’s tales say GIRL, as does the Ph test, but the cabbage and Intelligender are telling me BOY.  So I guess there really is no substitution for an ultrasound by a skilled tech.  But if you are impatient like me, these are at least fun ways to kill some time while you wait for the 20 week mark! I felt like a scientist the whole time, and I have to say, I hope I never have to play with so much urine again!

So what do we want, you might ask? I really want another girl. BAD. We already have TONS of girl stuff for Sophie, and we really wouldn’t have to buy much of anything at all if Oops is a girl. If it’s a boy, we’re screwed,lol..And we don’t have the money or the room for all new baby stuff…

Dan has been SURE it’s a girl since the day we found out we’re pregnant again. He even refers to the baby as “she” and “her” all the time. Hey, he has a 50% chance of being right!

What about good old female intuition? I don’t really HAVE a strong feeling here, although I think it will be a boy, just so things are more difficult!  Guess we have a week or so before we know for sure!

August 20, 2010 Posted by | What They DON'T Tell You About Pregnancy-The Nitty Gritty | 2 Comments

My Story….From DV to PCOS&Infertility To Becoming A Baby Making Machine!


From PCOS and infertility to a downright baby factory! This is my story….

{ August 18, 2010 @ 9:34 pm } · { My Story }
{ Leave a Comment }

I had my son when I was almost 19. At the time, I was in an abusive marriage, and wasn’t all of too happy about becoming a mom. I had been with his father since 15, and he was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive towards me. Motherhood wasn’t something I was able to relish at the time. I was more worried about how to survive on a day to day basis. Of course, when Kyle was born, my life changed. I couldn’t believe I could love another person so much. It truly is like a piece of your heart is walking around outside your body, and you would die for that little person. One look at him, and I was hooked. I knew being a mommy was my calling.  It took a few hard years, but I finally got the strength to leave my abuser. It was really the best decision I could have made, for myself and for my son. 

I spent the next couple of years figuring out who I was WITHOUT the ex….I came to discover I was so much more than he brainwashed me to believe I was. I still have difficult days, as many survivors of domestic violence do from time to time, but I was able to learn how to finally LIVE. I had a great job teaching that I loved, and at my son’s school, which was a plus. Over time, I found I didn’t HAVE to be shy, meek, and afraid all the time. I found I could allow myself to have friends and be close to family once again.  It was a hard road. I am not going to lie…When you’re under the control of someone else from such a young age, it is HARD to figure out who you really are afterwards. It was hard putting myself out there, especially when you’re “programmed” to believe you’re not good enough and no one could possibly ever like you. It is amazing to me that I spent so many years terrified of people in general. It is shocking that I let so much of who I was just disappear, all in the hopes of pleasing someone who could never truly be satisfied.  But I DID IT. I am STRONGER than the insecurities that have been ingrained in me. I found the strength to leave. To give my son a fighting chance at life. The way I saw it, I was raising what would one day be a man, and I could not live with myself if he grew up thinking certain things were “normal.”  I cannot emphasize strongly enough how important it is to find help…Talk to people…Open up…No matter how afraid you may be. Abusers DO NOT CHANGE. They make promises and things may be better for awhile, (what I like to call the Honeymoon Period before the storm) but things never really get better. There are people who do care. You CAN change your life.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I am pretty passionate about DV. After getting out of my situation, I have met SO many other women who have been through the same. It is more common than people want to admit.  Anyway, fast forward a couple of years…..

I get a random friend request on MySpace in 2005. It has a goofy avatar, and just a first name. I add the person, and think nothing of it…I didn’t even check their profile or anything,lol…A few weeks later, I filled out a silly survey, one of those ” answer these questions and send it back to me” type deals. Well, I get a reply from the mystery man in my inbox, and it has answers ABOUT ME. One question was:

Would you ever date me?

His answer was:

I have, and probably could again.

Needless to say, my curiosity was piqued. It turns out, the mystery man was Dan…My first ever boyfriend when I was 13. He was the quintessential “bad boy” back then. But he was always a nice guy with a good heart, and he was my first everything. Needless to say, after what I had been through, I was more than a little cautious. I would not agree to see him for a couple of months. We just talked online and on the phone…Until he finally convinced me to meet up with him at my local Denny’s to hang out and catch up on old times.  I wasn’t looking for anything…He wasn’t looking for anything…But what we found was definitely SOMETHING. We stayed for 12 hours and just talked. It was like no time had gone by at all. We could still read eachother’s thoughts and finish eachother’s sentences. I had found my best friend, and the man I was born to love. It’s funny how sometimes the first really ends up being the last…even with years in-between.

Dan is an amazing husband, and he took Kyle in as his own from day 1. He has gone above and beyond to take care of us and to give us the life we never thought we’d be lucky enough to find. He accepts me fully, flaws and all. He understands my insecurities and their roots, and he has really been amazing. I never thought a man could love someone without hurting them. Dan proved me wrong. He is absolutely selfless, gentle, and kind. He can laugh with me and at me, when necessary. He is the cheese to my macaroni. He is where I belong. I am so grateful to have found him again.

We married  on April 5, 2008. It was a small ceremony, but nice, nonetheless. We were excited about our future, and had already been trying for a couple of years to have a baby of our own. Between 2006-2008, we had 3 miscarriages. I felt broken. It was the most depressing period of my life. All around me, friends and family were getting pregnant. I thought I had somehow deserved this. That maybe DipShit was RIGHT, and I didn’t deserve to be happy. I felt like I was a failure as a woman. I had finally found a man who deserved to be a father, and that seemed to be a gift I couldn’t give. It was a very dark period for me. I had SO much to be happy about, and I couldn’t do the one thing a woman is born to do. We tried everything…I made him take zinc supplements , I was taking all kinds of fertility boosting supplements, we even resorted to a Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor and Pre-Seed. Finally, after all the losses and month after month of disappointment, I was diagnosed with PCOS. (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) I will more than likely post more info on this common and very under-diagnosed disorder in another post. Anyway, I had to come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to have more children. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I questioned everything… I questioned my marriage, (Why would he want me if I am broken?) I questioned God…I questioned my own worth…I felt like I had been punished somehow. I had done plenty of bad things as a kid, and I thought maybe I was going through the pain of infertility as some sort of pay-back, even though I was a much different person than I was as a teen. For those who have ever dealt with infertility or miscarriages, you know what I mean. It is the worst kind of pain there is. And you feel alone.

I had to somehow learn to accept this. I had to take control over the PCOS, no matter how hard it seemed. I started following the IR Diet. It taught me how to eat properly. PCOS generally coincides with insulin resistence, so I literally had to re-train my mind, since normal nutrition guidelines DO NOT work for my body as efficiently as for a woman without PCOS. I started taking all kinds of crazy stuff that is supposed to help….Cinnamon capsules, unfiltered cider vinegar, fish oil, baby aspirin, and an herbal alternative to Metformin, a commonly prescribed drug for the treatment of PCOS, which is actually a diabetic drug. The herbal version is called Hyponidd. I took this religiously, as all the research and testimonials I have found looked very promising. Well, 6 months later, after I had given up on having a baby and we had been approved with an adoption agency, I became pregnant with my miracle baby, Sophia Suzanne.  After all the tears and heartache, WE WERE HAVING OUR BABY!

My pregnancy was awful….Projectile vomit on a daily basis ALL 9 MONTHS…Aches and pains, acid reflux, a nasty hemmerhoid, and start and stop labor for a month and half. Stuck at 2 cm that long!

Finally, on 12/31/09, a scheduled C-section gave us our daughter, Sophie. I was laughing and crying at the same time. We finally had what we had tried so long for. She was a spitting image of her Daddy, with a full head of dark hair, and was 6 lbs 5 oz and 19 inches long. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen….Still is!

We just started getting used to having Sophie. We were just getting into the groove of things, and were past the up-all-night marathons that come with a newborn…I had finally just about healed from my C-section….Things were good. I had lost almost 50 lbs and was at a lower weight than I had seen in over a decade, I was enjoying being a new mommy again. I was glad that the constant sickness for 9 straight months was over. I was enjoying my new family….

And then I get the e-mail…One cryptic sentence that changed everything. It was from my mother, who I am not all that close to. We really don’t talk much at all. We might e-mail once a month or so. Even then, it’s pretty impersonal. My mom has some issues and demons she has to battle, and it keeps her from really being a mom, or a grandma, for that matter. Anyway,, here is what her e-mail said:

Brandy, could you possibly be pregnant?

No! There was just no possible way! I wasn’t late!(Was I? And if I was, my mom had no way to know that.) I just HAD a baby…I have PCOS, I don’t get pregnant easily. We have at least a few years of TRYING before that could happen! But…My mom has an eerie 6th sense about things….She has dreams…And sometimes, she’s right. I tried to put it out of my mind. Finally, a week later, I told Dan we were going to CVS. I was going to buy a digital just to make myself feel better. (I am a worry-wart by nature.) So we get the test…A 2 pack of First Response Gold digitals. We came home, and I peed on a stick. With no worried at all. I put it down and walked away, started doing chores, etc…I come back a few minutes later, and sure enough, it says YES+. I scream “Oh F**k!” so loudly that both my hubby AND my son come running. My husband said, “Okay, timing sucks, but this is good!” My son, with the infinite wisdom of a 10 year old, rolls his eyes and says “Here we go again.”  That says it all.

So that is my life, up to this point. I have been through a lot, from Domestic Violence to PCOS to infertility to literally popping them out back to back. While I have a lot on my plate and might bitch and complain, (damn hormones!) I am grateful everyday for everything this crazy life has to offer.   I tell it like it is, I don’t candy coat, and I have a pretty good sense of humor. Here I will document my travels through my pregnancy, mommihood, and how to be a smoking hot wifey while covered in drool and baby poo. This should be fun!

That is me, in a nutshell!

August 19, 2010 Posted by | My Story, My Story | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Review: Perricone MD No Foundation Foundation


Perricone MD No Foundation Foundation (Yes, I meant to say “Foundation” twice!)

I was recently the lucky winner of not 1 but 2 bottles of Perricone MD No Foundation Foundation. I was very excited to receive this product, since I know what a great reputation Perricone MD has in the beauty industry. I also know that at $50.00/bottle, there was no way in hell my husband would let me buy it without trying it first, at least…And even then, it may take convincing!

At first, I was a little confused…There was no shade listed on the bottle. I didn’t know if it would work for my skin, as out of the bottle it appears darker than I would normally use. But once I put it on, I saw that it does indeed work, and blends beautifully for a sheer yet natural finish.Turns out, they don’t need different shades, as this foundation is literally univeral and compatible with all skin types and colors! It does not produce that cakey, overly made up look that many foundations leave. (Even the expensive ones!)

Another thing I really liked about this product was the smell of it. I know that is an odd thing to like about make-up,haha. But it has a very pleasant, almost herbal scent to it. And it leaves your skin feeling absolutely amazing! It is weightless, and makes your face soft and moisturized without a greasy or heavy feel. 

All I can say is I was blown away by this product. The first day I used it, my best friend came over with her boyfriend. She later commented that I was “glowing”. I can assure you, with my hellacious morning sickness and exhaustion, it was not a pregnancy glow…It was my Perricone MD No Foundation Foundation!

I will have to be on my best behavior, because when these bottles run out, I will definitely be begging the hubby for more!

Here is some info taken from the Perricone MD website:

As a dermatologist to some of the most famous faces in the world, their special needs often become inspiration for the creation of new products.  When more than one celebrity make-up artist asked Dr. Perricone for a type of foundation that would let the skin’s natural radiance and beauty shine through, No Foundation Foundation was born.

Created to keep skin looking dewy and flawless, this unique formula delivers many benefits of a traditional foundation without the heavy matte finish, which emphasizes the tiniest skin imperfections.  No Foundation Foundation is a multi-purpose product that provides natural translucent coverage, corrects skin undertones, instantly smoothes fine lines and boosts skin’s natural moisture throughout the day, all the while delivering antioxidant benefits.

“I took special care in formulating No Foundation Foundation with a non-chemical SPF 30 to deliver protection against sun damage, making it ideal for all skin types, even the most sensitive” – Dr. Perricone

Marie Claire – July 2009
“I was thrilled to find Perricone MD No Foundation Foundation. It erases blotchiness and pores with just a hint more coverage…”

Lucky – June 2009
“This is a full-fledged anti-aging treatment masquerading as a tinted moisturizer…”

All in all, I would call this a miracle product! Thanks, Perricone MD, for including this in your giveaways! You have made a believer out of me!

August 19, 2010 Posted by | Mirror,Mirror On The Wall-Body Image, Beauty Products & Reviews | Leave a comment

AdorableBabyClothing.com Review!


For The Munchkins-All About The Kids Reviews and Rants

Adorable Baby Clothing.com Review

 

Well, as you all know, I enter a lot of sweeps and contests to make things at least somewhat interesting while on modified bedrest. In July, I entered Sophie in their Adorable Baby Photo Contest. Much to my surprise, SHE WON! Okay, well she actually tied another little girl for winner. But the other girl was absolutely gorgeous, and I was proud that my little princess could even hold her own against this other child! As a prize, Sophie is featured in the winner’s page, and I also received a gift certificate to use on their site. They have SOOO much to choose from!  They have dress-up costumes in all kid’s sizes, regular everyday clothing, uber-cute boutiqe type clothing, and even toys and shower gifts!

I finally settled on their Precious Pink Wabbit Baby Bunny Costume

As you can see, Sophie just LOVES it! It even comes with the cute plush carrot rattle to complete the look! The costume itself is SUPER high quality. It is very soft and comfortable for baby to wear, and it even has snaps up the legs to facilitate easy diaper changes! I cannot wait for Halloween so I can show Sophie off in her bunny costume! And for 32.00, this is a steal! MUCH better quality than you will find at your local WalMart or Halloween store!

I must also say that customer service at AdorableBabyClothing.com is fantastic. There was a bit of confusion regarding my order, and Cynthia at AdorableBabyClothing.com called me personally to clear it up. She was very helpful, very friendly, and I really enjoyed chatting with her! It was very refreshing to deal with a company that is dedicated to providing top quality products and excellent customer service!

I would definitely recommend AdorableBabyClothing.com if you have a special occasion you need to dress your little one for…. Or if you have a Baby Shower to attend…Or if you want some really neat baby toys….Or if you need formal attire for your little ones. So go take a look around! I am glad to have found this online store, and plan to shop with them again! Oh, and not to mention, shipping was lightning fast! I had her costume within 48 hours of placing my order!

August 19, 2010 Posted by | For The Munchkins-All About The Kids Reviews and Rants | Leave a comment

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