Oops, I'm Pregnant Again!

A SAHM's take on pregnancy, babies, beauty,and life as a baby making machine.

30 Days of Truth~Day 2: Something I Love About Myself


First here is a bit of a disclaimer: This is my blog. I find it easier to open up when I write, and I am very candid and to the point. Sometimes what I say is positive, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes  people may agree with me, sometimes they won’t. This 30 day challenge is all about raw honesty and self-examination. It is about being real with your feelings. It is not to cause drama, it is not to point fingers, it is not to do anything other than be real with myself as I complete this 30 day journey. I will not sugar coat things, and I will not deny myself the ability to express my feelings freely just because some of them may not be all rainbows and butterflies. I am a firm believer that if you feel something, LET yourself feel it. Get it out. Learn to heal. Right or wrong, feelings are just that: Feelings. And there is no personal growth if they are not dealt with or expressed. I am not doing this challenge to bash anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings. As a matter of fact, I am choosing to not go into specific names or relationships where applicable, because I do not want to create drama. But this is MY blog. It is my outlet to express myself  in any way I choose to. Life is not always happy or glamorous. I won’t lie to my readers or myself and say it is on here just to placate anyone or present things a way that they’re not. If I am having a great day, you will know it. If I am having a bad day, you’ll know that, too. This challenge has not been an easy one to take on, but I see more benefit to MYSELF in doing it than in not doing it. If you want me to keep things real, keep reading. If you cannot respect my right to talk about my own feelings and my life in a raw and honest manner, no one is forcing you to stay and read. That’s the wonderful thing about the internet. One click and you can go somewhere else, and anything you don’t like will be lost in cyberspace. Out of sight, out of mind. Now on to today’s challenge…..

 

 

 

Wow…I have been sitting here thinking for a good 20 minutes, and I can’t really think of much. Maybe I am so hung up on the physical that I neglect to look at WHO I am rather than just what I look like…Or don’t look like….I mean, I like WHO I am. I am definitely a good person. But for some odd reason, I have become so obsessed with wanting to LOOK a certain way and feeling like a failure because I don’t that I had started seriously overlooking the good things about me. So without further ado, here is what I love about myself. Probably nowhere near as lengthy as yesterday’s post, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.

I love that I am honest. Sometimes too much so. But while I am honest, I retain tact. I never try to hurt anyone’s feelings. Have I ever lied before? Sure. Of course. As a kid and angry teen, I’m sure I did a LOT.  But as an adult, I have really learned the value of honesty, and I do my best to always tell it like it is, even if someone may not like it. But I always, ALWAYS think of the feelings of others before I open my mouth. Sometimes, things are just better left unsaid, sometimes something needs to be said. I am glad that I usually know the difference!

I love that I am loyal. (Often to a fault.) If I care about someone, I will defend that person with everything I have. I am not one to subscribe to the BS drama that so many people, even ones my age, still take part in. If you are my friend, I will TREAT you like you’re my friend. Period. If I love you, you will know it. Through my words, and through my actions. If someone I care about needs me, I am there for them in any and all ways that I am able to be. No questions asked. I will stand beside those I love unconditionally…I will always offer my help or a shoulder to cry on. I generally put others ahead of myself.  I am dependable. I guess that is a good quality to have.

I love that I try to be the best mother I can be. Am I perfect? Nope. Not even close. Like everyone going through the human experience, I am a work in progress. I make mistakes sometimes. But I always do my best to do right by my family. No matter what, I want them to never, ever doubt how much I love them, and how absolutely amazing they are to me. I am here to help with homework (when it’s not math,lol…My husband is a much more effective tutor than I am, but I am still here if I am needed,lol) I am here to kiss boo-boo’s….I am here to cook real meals, and not prepackaged crap. (Although my 10 year old’s fave food IS ramen noodles,haha) I am a willing ear, a shoulder to lean on, and I make it a point to tell each of my family members everyday that I love them. My kids get so many hugs and kisses, more than I ever did as a child.(But my mom is not an affectionate woman.) I am here to lay down the law. I am here to answer life’s hard questions, and do so as honestly and appropriately as I can. I am here to be my kids’ biggest cheerleader and to take as many goofy pictures as possible to chronicle their childhoods. (Plus, they’ll make great material to show future crushed,haha) I became a mom young…Younger than I had ever planned. I had Kyle when I was almost 19. He changed my life. Once you have a child, your life takes on a whole new meaning. It’s like your heart is walking around outside of your body, and you would do anything to protect it. My kids made me grow up. My kids made me rethink my values. My kids made me see the beauty in the simple things, and to not take anything for granted. My kids made me want to be a better person. I may be here to teach and guide them, but they have already taught me more than they could possibly realize. The most important job I will ever have is that of being a Mommy, and I am doing my best to do it right.

I love being a wife. Marriage can be a very good thing, or it can be a horrible thing. I should know. My first marriage was to an incredibly controlling and abusive man. That marriage was a constant, living hell. One I am grateful to have escaped, even if I did stay way too long. So if you’re married to the wrong person, obviously, marriage is not a good thing. But I am so lucky to have found the right person. I am married to my best friend. He truly is my other half. We can read eachothers’ thoughts and finish eachothers’ sentences, we share similar values (for the most part…I am a tad more conservative than Dan.) We are just so comfortable together that it makes everything just come easily and naturally. I love being his wife. I love taking care of him. I love watching him play with the kids. I love that for the first time in my life, I have someone I can just be myself with,and that it’s all that is desired or expected of me. I don’t have to be afraid to speak my mind or have a different opinion than him. I love having him to fall asleep with and wake up next to, and I love that both of us know that neither one of us is ever going anywhere. So I love being a wife. I love that I have the type of relationship that allows me to be the best wife I can be.

I love that I can cook. And I don’t mean Hamburger Helper or frozen dinners. Enough said.

I love that I have a sense of humor. It may be raunchy, but at least I have one! I know some people who don’t!

I love that I am in touch with my feelings. I am not afraid to admit when I feel something, whether it be fear, sadness, anger, insecurity, etc…. I am a firm believer that feelings are meant to felt. If you don’t allow yourself to feel, nothing ever gets resolved, and you simply cannot heal. I am one of the lucky ones that is willing and able to identify my feelings and let myself feel them. I don’t bottle things up. I guess that’s a good quality to have.

I love that I am reasonably intelligent.

I love that I am frugal. I can always find the best prices on everything.

And yeah….I guess that about covers it…Not much, but it’s more than I initially thought I would be able to pull out of my (nonexistent) butt!

December 7, 2010 - Posted by | My Story

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